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This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Paul Vande Ven, who was born in Wisconsin on September 02, 1986, and passed away on July 21, 2005 at the age of 18. We will remember him forever.
Paul took his own life this summer. The family considers this to be a tragic accident brought on by the combination of anti-depressants, surgery, and medications from the surgery. He had been on anti-depressants for about a year due to hereditary depression. He had gall bladder surgery almost 2 weeks before he ended his life. A very close family friend, and surgeon, has recommended that the combination of the medications and the surgery caused a metamorphsis of the chemicals in Paul's brain. This caused Paul to go into an extremely depressed state, and his subconsious took over. When it happened, Paul had no control over his mind or his body.
Paul lost his best friend, Timmy Flanigan, on New Years Eve Day 2004. He took this very hard, and was having a difficult time adjusting. Within 2 weeks of this loss we found out Paul's grandpa only had a short time to live due to a weak heart. About two months later Paul started getting sick. He could not keep anything down, and kept losing his appetite. After countless tests, the doctor finally discovered his gall bladder was not working properly. This led to the surgery that caused the problems.
Paul was a fun-loving person, with an extremely quick smile. Paul had many good friends at school, and it seemed like everyone knew him. We would often be in a store and someone would say "HI" to him. When I asked who it was, he usually did not know.
He loved his dog Fetch, and spending time with his family. He liked to hunt with his dad: deer in the fall and turkey in the spring. He loved to sit outside and watch storms with me. There were so many things we enjoyed doing as a family, from riding bikes to watching movies, I cannot even begin to list them all. We were always a very close family, and will have Paul in our hearts and minds every day for the rest of our lives.
Paul was always proud of the fact that he had never been grounded. He would tell his friends he did not know the meaning of the word. Moreover, I trusted him completely. As an example of this, I always let him carry my debit card, trusting he would always tell me when he used it. And he did.
Paul was so well loved, for his memorial service there were more people than the funeral director had ever seen at a service. We even had a cashier from a local grocery store show up, and even someone who had never met Paul, but had been on the recieving end of Paul's great smile. He had one of the most memorial services ever. There was nothing traditional about it. The service included songs by Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osborne, two of Paul's favorite singers. After the service, Paul's uncle asked everyone to go outside where they released 4 white doves, one representing each member of our family. Paul's brother, Mike Jr., released the first dove representing Paul, then they released the other three after a short poem. After about a minute, Mikey said to me "look they are all flying together" and I told him, "that means we will all be together again someday." After that Paul's cousin, Adam, sang a song that he had written for Paul. It was beatiful.
Paul loved to play games. He would play games with anyone. He especially liked playing dominoes and Uno with us, his grandparents, and his great-grandma. He even wrote a computer program (Mac OS X users can download it at one of his websites) for scoring dominoes. that way, he would not have to do it on paper all the time.
He also liked to play cribbage with his grandpa and me. He would often challenge me to a cribbage game, just to see if he could beat me. He rarely did, but when it happened, he would not let me forget.
Paul loved the computer, and had his own "pay-to-read" internet business (Pepper-ads). He was doing very well with it and had made many friends. His computer skills allowed him to be the one who was always called upon at school to help with any computer problems in the library or one of the offices. The principal told us he had another school coming into look at the computers and needed a tech to talk to; the first name to come to his mind was Paul's.
Paul touched many lives, and will always be remembered for his great smile and contagious laugh.
Please check out Mike Jr.'s memorial site to Paul at http://www.giantmike.com/paul.html to read some nice stories and view even more great pictures.
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Click here to see Paul Vande Ven's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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Hey Peanut / Patsy Vande Ven (Mom)
I miss you so much. I know you are the one that helped me get this new job. I am so excited. You know I need to get out of iod because it is making me worse no matter how much better I look or feel. It is taking its toll on my body. I think that is w...
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Happy Birthday!! / Mom
Hey Sweet Boy
Happy Birthday!!! I can't believe you would be 23 today. I miss you so very much and love you even more. Today I thought so much of the day you were born how Mikey got to come up and see you after kindergarten and touch you in your oxy...
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Happy Birthday Buddy / Mike (Dad)
Today is your Birthday. Twenty three years ago today I was able to see you for the first time. What an amazing 18 years we were able to share together. I would not give up one second for all the money in the world. You have shaped my life much m...
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Missing you / Mom (Mom)
Hey Pauly
I can't believe it is almost 4 years already sometimes it feels like just yesterday. Now you have Auntie Ida with you. I miss you so much every day!! I think about you all the time and the things you should be doing. You should be home fro...
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I miss you Paul / Mike (Dad)
Hey Buddy,
I know you are watching over Mom and I. I saw the owl by the front yard this morning and I feel that is you watching over us. Mom and I are struggling right now but knowing you are out there helps very much. I love you very much. I mis...
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Another New Year :( / Mom Read >> |
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Another Xmas / Mom Read >> |
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I love you so much / Patsy Vande Ven (Mom) Read >> |
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Happy Birthday!! / Mom (Mom) Read >> |
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I miss you so much!!! / Mom Read >> |
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Remembering your spirit today / Caryn Young (Family Friend ) Read >> |
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I can't believe it has been so long!!! / Mom Read >> |
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Turkey season again / Mike (Dad) Read >> |
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It's been so long / Patsy Vande Ven (Mom) Read >> |
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That was just freaky, Paul / Mom Vande Ven Read >> |
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| Paul's Photo Album |
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| Paul enjoying an outing with the family at the Packer game in 2004. |
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