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This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Paul Vande Ven, who was born in Wisconsin on September 02, 1986, and passed away on July 21, 2005 at the age of 18. We will remember him forever.
Paul took his own life this summer. The family considers this to be a tragic accident brought on by the combination of anti-depressants, surgery, and medications from the surgery. He had been on anti-depressants for about a year due to hereditary depression. He had gall bladder surgery almost 2 weeks before he ended his life. A very close family friend, and surgeon, has recommended that the combination of the medications and the surgery caused a metamorphsis of the chemicals in Paul's brain. This caused Paul to go into an extremely depressed state, and his subconsious took over. When it happened, Paul had no control over his mind or his body.
Paul lost his best friend, Timmy Flanigan, on New Years Eve Day 2004. He took this very hard, and was having a difficult time adjusting. Within 2 weeks of this loss we found out Paul's grandpa only had a short time to live due to a weak heart. About two months later Paul started getting sick. He could not keep anything down, and kept losing his appetite. After countless tests, the doctor finally discovered his gall bladder was not working properly. This led to the surgery that caused the problems.
Paul was a fun-loving person, with an extremely quick smile. Paul had many good friends at school, and it seemed like everyone knew him. We would often be in a store and someone would say "HI" to him. When I asked who it was, he usually did not know.
He loved his dog Fetch, and spending time with his family. He liked to hunt with his dad: deer in the fall and turkey in the spring. He loved to sit outside and watch storms with me. There were so many things we enjoyed doing as a family, from riding bikes to watching movies, I cannot even begin to list them all. We were always a very close family, and will have Paul in our hearts and minds every day for the rest of our lives.
Paul was always proud of the fact that he had never been grounded. He would tell his friends he did not know the meaning of the word. Moreover, I trusted him completely. As an example of this, I always let him carry my debit card, trusting he would always tell me when he used it. And he did.
Paul was so well loved, for his memorial service there were more people than the funeral director had ever seen at a service. We even had a cashier from a local grocery store show up, and even someone who had never met Paul, but had been on the recieving end of Paul's great smile. He had one of the most memorial services ever. There was nothing traditional about it. The service included songs by Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osborne, two of Paul's favorite singers. After the service, Paul's uncle asked everyone to go outside where they released 4 white doves, one representing each member of our family. Paul's brother, Mike Jr., released the first dove representing Paul, then they released the other three after a short poem. After about a minute, Mikey said to me "look they are all flying together" and I told him, "that means we will all be together again someday." After that Paul's cousin, Adam, sang a song that he had written for Paul. It was beatiful.
Paul loved to play games. He would play games with anyone. He especially liked playing dominoes and Uno with us, his grandparents, and his great-grandma. He even wrote a computer program (Mac OS X users can download it at one of his websites) for scoring dominoes. that way, he would not have to do it on paper all the time.
He also liked to play cribbage with his grandpa and me. He would often challenge me to a cribbage game, just to see if he could beat me. He rarely did, but when it happened, he would not let me forget.
Paul loved the computer, and had his own "pay-to-read" internet business (Pepper-ads). He was doing very well with it and had made many friends. His computer skills allowed him to be the one who was always called upon at school to help with any computer problems in the library or one of the offices. The principal told us he had another school coming into look at the computers and needed a tech to talk to; the first name to come to his mind was Paul's.
Paul touched many lives, and will always be remembered for his great smile and contagious laugh.
Please check out Mike Jr.'s memorial site to Paul at http://www.giantmike.com/paul.html to read some nice stories and view even more great pictures.
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Click here to see Paul Vande Ven's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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I miss you so much!!! / Mom
I am missing you so much tonight Pauly. My birthdays just aren't the same without your beautiful smile to make it special. And without a present form you this year just makes me think more about all the wonderful gifts you gave me over the years. But...
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Remembering your spirit today / Caryn Young (Family Friend )
Pauly,
You are such a special young man!! I'm not sure if you really know what kind of an impact your life made on us. You are loved by many Pauly, and your life will NEVER be forgotten. Your family lives o...
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I can't believe it has been so long!!! / Mom
Pauly,
I think about you so much. I can't believe it is almost 3 years since I have seen you. I miss you so very much. People say it gets better with time, I don't know where they get that idea. I feel it gets worse over time, because it has been so...
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Turkey season again / Mike (Dad)
Well it's spring again. I decided to be a mentor for a young 11 year old girl (Andrea) for turkey hunting this year. I was most rewarding. It reminded me when I took you out for your first turkey hunt. I even told Andrea the story of how you got your...
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It's been so long / Patsy Vande Ven (Mom)
Hey cutie,
We went to dinner with Sara for her 21st birthday. We all missed you being there, even Judy introduced us to others as Sara's best friends parents. :) As you know, I made Sara an afghan, she really liked it. I knew she would thought becau...
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That was just freaky, Paul / Mom Vande Ven Read >> |
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Why again? / Mom Read >> |
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So unfair to everyone / Richard (passer-by) Read >> |
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2 years of sorrow / Mommy Vande Ven Read >> |
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Thinking of you on your up coming Angel Date / Jana Ogilvie (PasserBy) Read >> |
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Thinking of u Paul and ur family / Candy Lynch Read >> |
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I'm sorry Pauly / Jessie French (cousin) Read >> |
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I miss you so much / Mommy Read >> |
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Miss you so very much!!! / Patsy Vande Ven (Mom/best friend ) Read >> |
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Hi Paul / Doris Heasman (pos) Read >> |
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| Paul's Photo Album |
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| Paul enjoying an outing with the family at the Packer game in 2004. |
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